I’m giving up full time freelancing after only 5 months

This was meant to be my new life and now I’m back in the working world

Photo by Peggy Sue Zinn on Unsplash

I was once talking to a friend I’d met at my first office job, we were catching up after I’d left the job 6 years earlier and I was explaining all the jobs and things I’d been doing.

She remarked that I’d done a lot of interesting things. In reality, I hadn’t told her everything as my working life had become a strange map where I flitted from one thing to the next with study and freelance work thrown into the mix.

Whilst some people have a career plan I’d found myself taking opportunities on a whim and trying new things because I was bored.

• I turned down a big promotion at my first office job because I didn’t want my whole career to be planned out for me.
• I left a job because I didn’t like the corporate environment — it was cold, money-obsessed and I didn’t feel comfortable.
• I refused a promotion where I would travel frequently because I hate travelling frequently.
• I turned down the opportunity for a third interview with a global company because I didn’t gel with the environment.
• I turned down a different job because the employees seemed miserable when I went to the interview (I’m talking head in hands stressed and no talking in the office as everyone was too busy).
• I decided to do my master’s degree a few weeks before the course started.
• I resigned from my last office job the day after a bad meeting because I no longer wanted to work from an office.

It feels embarrassing to list out my career journey because it doesn’t make any sense. I have turned down higher-paying jobs based on a feeling that I wouldn’t be happy. I have made my life harder and took jobs where I earn less money because it was better for my anxiety. I don’t see many other people letting their emotions rule their careers and because of that a lot of my friends and peers are further ahead in their careers now. They have fancy job titles with manager in the name and some have their entire careers mapped out until retirement. Meanwhile I still frequently search the jobs pages wondering what I could…